Matthew 11: 25 At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. 26 Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.” 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
(The day before I was led to these verses, I was wailing & whining about what God was calling me to with my children. I honestly think I felt for a brief moment what Jonah experienced. Just call me “Jonette”! I was sweating, exhausted, running on empty already at 10 a.m. in the morning wondering how I would make it through the rest of the day with my children- not to mention the rest of the summer! I was like “how could I ever even considered the thought of possibly homeschooling them at some point?” That was me… totally freaking out!)
So, the next day (once I had calmed down & “came back to” after my tantrum) I asked the Lord God how come He was speaking so clearly today but yesterday I was trying to hear from Him & could not. It seemed He replied “I had to wait until you were done with your tantrum before I spoke. You would not have heard Me anyway.” Then, I felt Him continue to say “If you allow me, I will teach you how to parent your children as I have & will continue to parent you, My child.” He certainly had my ear! I mean, I never had a Godly parent modeled for me as a child nor have I ever been trained up by anyone in this way, so Who better than my Heavenly Father Himself to teach me?!?!
He went on & showed me Matthew 11- that God through Jesus shows things to those of us who approach Him like children & by keeping me around the children, He is actually making sure that I keep that child-like faith because my tendency is to become “wise & learned” (like one of the two groups mentioned in the above Scripture verses). EEEK! That stung, but I know it to be true. I LOVE learning. I desire knowledge & live for researching answers to questions that come up. But my Gracious King spoke so lovingly to me when He told me that I was like a student who had been in school for a long time. I had a vision of a graduate of college who had received their Associate’s degree to then move on to receive their Bachelor’s degree to then move on to receive a Master’s degree to then move on to receive a Doctorate. There was a problem with this “graduate in my vision”, though: This person did not ever want go out & actually practice the trade in which they had learned about all that time, though. It was as if the Holy Spirit was whispering “You have all you need to get started. And I will continue to teach you more, but the rest can only be learned by actually getting “out there” & doing it.” Here he showed me: Matthew 11:19 “But wisdom is proved right by her actions.”
He also said & showed me that I will learn more about being His (My Creator Elohim’s child) by being around my own children. He brought me to Matthew 18:2 He (Jesus) called a little child and had him stand among them. 3 And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 “And whoever welcomes a little child like this in My Name welcomes Me.” Well, that just made me take a huge GULP! Yahweh (my Loving Redeemer) was showing me that I had “all this knowledge” by reading the Bible, listening to teachings on parenting as well as seeking out others who had done it well & everything in between. But what He wanted me to “know” here is that I needed be like a child, think like a child & act like a child- both in the sense of being His child but also by being more involved in the lives of my children in the way He had planned for me. That is why I chose the Name “Yahweh” when I just wrote the previous sentence. This being because of course I knew I was a child of the Most High God, but He wanted me to know Him even more intimately. And the Lord has chosen a specific path just for me to be able to grow up in Him as He also allows me to grow in that same intimacy with my children! Wow, talk about “REDEMPTION”! I mean, at this point I was totally speechless (which I laugh to think about now even while typing this because I believe that God- knowing I was speechless by this point- had me EXACTLY where He wanted me to be so that I would not talk but rather continue to listen!) I just love God’s humor & how He gets me to settle down in such a lovingly, considerate Fatherly way. (Did you also catch how right there He just taught me how to get my own kids to quiet down by showing them that I want to spend time with them!) I mean “wow”… All in this same moment, the Lord is showing me His love for me, ministering to my heart, disciplining me AND continuing to teach me how to be this parent He’s called me to be to these children! God is so faithful. Reading back to the beginning of this page, isn’t that just what He said He would do for me? : )
To describe what I am feeling at this point in receiving this download from my Abba Father is the word “awe”. So while I am still in awe, I shall leave you with what He left me with on this day. And this is the clencher! The final Word He gave to me was in one chapter over in Matthew 19 verses 13 & 14: “Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 15 When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.” Jesus ever-so gently spoke to my heart by saying: “Stop running away as if there is some other way you will find out more about Me. You are running from THE very thing that will bring you closer to Me… and that is the children.”
So, there you have it. I, Cristine Pina, went from a woman who never seemed to feel like I was ready to take on such a task without more preparation is not only hearing from my Heavenly Father that it is time, but that I am ready because THIS IS THE VERY THING HE UNIQUELY CRAFTED ME TO DO- to walk out being His child AND a Godly mother to these children in a beautifully, interwoven bow that only He could tie together! <3

As a stay at home mom, that sentence is hard to swallow because I don’t always live the exemplary life out in front of them.  One recent example I could give is how we tried to start a new curriculum with my seven-year-old twins this year but my poor attitude effected the entire household.  In the midst of our old computers not functioning as they should mixed with some of the online program’s quirks, those two weeks were frantic, rigid, maniacal ones leaving me an emotional mess.  You see, my expectations were not being met, so I was having one big tantrum!

My plan began with good intentions but they were inevitably not God’s. Initially, my hope was to acquaint the twins with independent learning so that I could spend more time with my rising 4th grader.  In my opinion, introducing new concepts to her would mean she’d require extra time, so using a computer resource for the the twins to be taught interactively would be a win/win right?  Not so much.  Between trying to navigate each lesson plan, calling the company with my multiple questions, updating our own operating systems, explaining how it all worked to the twins’, answering their various questions and trying to remember that my other child was waiting on me too, I may’ve briefly lost my mind!  Not to mention how the several stimulating sights and sounds generated from this exhilarating teaching tool sent my auditory processing, sensory issues into a tizzy!  Basically, I had a mini breakdown.  I cried, I yelled, I prayed and I cried some more.  At one point, I vaguely recall feeling like the fear could turn into a panic attack because I kept saying “How am I going to do this?  I don’t think I can do this!”  Eventually, I went outside to breathe, sit in the sun, cry and pray.

Finally, after a couple of weeks of trying to run this educational marathon, we had a “Come to Jesus Meeting”.  I asked the children what option they would prefer: last year’s way of schooling with handwriting and bookwork or continuing on with the computer program?   Each twin gave their pros and cons but ultimately it boiled down to their desire for a serene setting where Mommy is chill.

If you have been reading my blogs for a while, you know that I am all about confession so I confessed how my actions were wrong.  With the change of direction and fresh perspective, my new aspiration was to turn this whole saga into a good thing by having them a) see true repentance in me b) discover how Mommy may actually be better for them than an automated teacher and c) reaffirm how their mother does not have it altogether and needs Jesus ever-so desperately.

Today as I write this blog we are on week two of our old method of schooling where we all gather around the table and work together.  Go figure, I assumed that this style would be too difficult this year with their current level of education but we actually found the opposite to be true!  We reestablished a quieter, slower, calmer atmosphere like how it used to be when I chose to relinquish my will God’s.  Accordingly, peace, rest and joy returned.  My regrets about my behavior at the beginning of our school year fade in the forgiveness found.  My heart cherishes the grace granted me to try again.  Undeniably, the Holy Spirit turned it around the moment I relented my plan for God’s best.  Obviously, the whole escapade could have been avoided if I chose to let go of the illusion of control in the first place.  But the blessing is that the roots underneath the surface of my frenetic conduct boiled down to both fear and pride together; as they are different sides of the same coin really.  And you know what?  Once those sins were uncovered and I admitted them, something powerful happened!

Today my eight-year-old said something remarkable.  Out of the blue, she tells me how I am a good mother.   The words which proceeded to come forth from her mouth next pierced my heart to the core.  She said “When you say sorry, Mommy, you really mean it.”  Wow!  Right there I was convinced of my statement earlier: “the children are watching more of what we do than what we say.”

Last year our family received the blessing to visit Colonial Williamsburg for two days, and I’m so extremely thankful to God for making it possible. Father fulfilled my heart’s desire to travel to one of my favorite places. But on top of that, He threw in some special souvenirs besides the memories we would take back in our hearts.  The souvenirs mentioned are so much more than objects; not to be kept on a shelf but rather cherished and paid forward!  The gifts we brought back with us were the lingering flicker of faith left for us from those who are now long gone!

First off, as homeschoolers, we learned so much about colonial day history with real hands on experiences!  Since everyone who works there re-enacts what living back in the 1700’s would have actually been like, we got to walk in original houses, shops, churches, courts, pubs and even the Governor’s Palace set up like they were three hundred years ago!  These buildings were not all replicas but carefully, preserved structures from the 18th century!  Another alluring aspect was how tourists got to sit in on re-enactments of bona fide court cases from that era!  Because of documented accounts of who lived when, we were intrigued to watch actors play out actual peoples’ life stories!   Captivated by the fact that we seriously felt as if we stepped back in time, we got to see and hear of how people ran each shop with its distinguished trade. Each actor portrayed what life would have been like at home or in business depending on if they were a “high society gent, common person or slave.”  The injustices of that day were disturbing, to say the least. With brute honesty, the lineage one was born into determined how they were treated; as a human or as an object, regardless of their true worth to God. Personally, I find it fascinating to see how far we’ve come as a country since then.  And that is why I feel it’s imperative to understand history because we can help change the course of the future by knowing where we’ve been before!

Let us not merely limit our love and appreciation to special occasions like graduations, birthdays, weddings, and sadly, funerals.  One must express how priceless people are WAY beyond these crossroads in life!  To wait in celebrating the impact someone has had here to so few “noteworthy” junctions is flat out wrong.  We need to weigh the cost of withholding our different displays of love & appreciation to such isolated events.  I mean, we say we’ll get around to doing that thing for them, make that important phone call, or find time to write that letter/email before it’s too late.  This should not be the case.  Do it now as a pleasure before it turns into an obligation because the yearly Christmas get-together is coming up or their anniversary is near,and it would be awkward for you to show up without a card & present, right?And while I do not mean to diminish monumental moments meant to be acknowledged throughout one’s journey like those mentioned above, God’s children are worth way more than some ritualist gesture of acknowledgement.  

God commands us in this life to put loving Him and loving others front & center.  Well now, what does that look like?  Can we spend an hour with a lonely friend?  Can we listen to a story told by a family member for the 100th time?  Can we make someone soup when they fall ill?  Can we watch others’ children so a couple can go out on a date night, or a tired mommy can finally have a break?  

What does “capturing the canvas” look like to you?  This is the title The Lord gave to me.  I believe it is meant to illustrate how we could paint our own pictures of love for Him by loving others.  My children draw, color & make pictures for me everyday to portray their love for me.  This is what it looks like to the Father when we use our gifts, skills & personality traits for good to help bless others.  

We don’t serve our neighbor to gain God’s love- no!  Jesus sacrificed it all on our behalf.  Therefore, in light of Our Lord offering Himself up, on a small scale we follow suit when we give of ourselves on behalf of a Son or Daughter.  When our own actions depict how that Brother or Sister is worth our time, money & efforts it honors God and reflects who Jesus is too!

We follow our Saviors example in serving others with charitable hearts when we encourage them, comfort them, keep them company, buy them an unexpected gift & so on.  Drowned in this knowledge, one cannot resist responding to the needs of others with such contributions in light of the God’s great love having been so generously poured out for us on that Cross!  We did nothing to deserve salvation.  In turn, with gratitude for receiving the best gift ever given, when we commit these kind acts of service to our fellow man, we likewise freely give just because of our love for them!  

So, don’t wait on that trademark moment.  “Capture your canvas” today and let your life be His artwork!

It is my belief that if those responsibilities do not come first, we will not reach all God has for us here on earth because we have rejected the very gifts He gave us to care for in the first place as HIS number one priority. Can we have it all? Possibly… in time. Is this a salvation thing? No. Will we still receive reward in Heaven for what we did do for the Lord while here on earth. Probably. But that’s not what this is about. There is a place is Scripture where it says ” may we become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” While others may think that becoming mature in your walk with the Lord means taking classes to learn more about the Bible or attending conferences to learn life application or going to retreats to learn your identity in Christ, I personally, do not believe that the maturation process really takes off in those places.

For me, real sanctification has happened within the home. It has happened in suffering, in failing daily as well as being put in situations where had the Lord Himself not shown up- I wouldn’t had been able to go on that day. This is where I feel faith grows, where intimacy with Jesus is front & center, where prayer is not a pretty rendition of some memorized Bible passage but rather more of a screaming out to God in anger.  Or it is just barely being able to whisper the Name Jesus because of mere exhaustion.

I ran from this type of growth. I tried to go back out & “work in the ministry” , get a part-time job, spend a lot of time out with my girlfriends, the list goes on- ALL in order to be away!  To “run away” is more like it. I was trying to outrun the very thing my Divine Creator designed me for in life! My husband even renamed me “Jonette” after Jonah in the Bible! I was too afraid of letting my husband down, letting my children down & most of all, letting God down! Through a series of circumstances that continued to bring me to broken places, humble me and soften my heart toward God & my relationships with others, my Heavenly Father grew me up in Him tremendously. He showed me (& continues to show me) how it’s not possible to “let Him down” if I have accepted His Son Jesus because “He will never leave us nor forsake us”.

The Truth is that in being right where the Father appointed me as wife, mother and homemaker like a foreigner dropped off in the Amazon jungle somewhere, I grew in God-confidence to walk out my calling.  The Holy Spirit guided me through this unknown terrain with every step I took in faith to “embrace this place”.

So here I am. Pleading with the other “Jonettes” out there. If something you are involved in causes you to a) not be an available helpmeet to your husband b) neglect your children in the areas of nurturing & training them up in the Lord and/or c) causes you to run from what God called you to by living contradictory to these verses where women are told we are: “to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God,” (Titus 2) then STOP.  Pray.  Reprioritize.  And finally, set on the True North course the Spirit is leading you towards! Because no amount of good education, times spent with others besides your family or timime serving in church/in service projects will EVER replace the important role of protecting our husband’s hearts & shepherding our children in this world!

Listen, as a woman who has done it all backwards once upon a time- trust me: there are consequences to not doing things God’s way & in God’s timing. You can lose those very ones the Lord entrusted to your care! Been there. Done that. BUT… I have also been given an opportunity now (many an opportunities, actually,) through Christ’s redeeming power and in God’s loving kindness to follow the way that is best for me because it’s my Abba Father’s way!

His plan will 1) ALWAYS work out for our good & 2) ALWAYS turn out for His Glory! I am so thankful for the regeneration process where the Spirit continues to finish His work in me, continues to teach me all I need to know for what I have been called to do, continues to counsel me when I do fail & ALWAYS shows me the Father’s love through it all as I follow Jesus.

So, my prayer Ladies, Daughters of the Most High God, Women after God’s own : Let us be good stewards over the souls we’ve been entrusted with before we takin on any other activity or duty which beckons our time, strength & giftings. I do believe this is Almighty God’s master plan for us as wives & mothers. Scripture makes it clear. My own personal experiences vouch for that as well. But more than those two things, my Daddy has shown me how to respond in love and thankfulness of heart along with obedience because of His amazing love given to me through Jesus.

One question I will leave you with today: Why do we so easily run after all the other distractions which take us away from the very thing we are here for as women in this world? My pleas is for us all to repent today for allowing such minute jobs to drag us away from the major one.  And subsequently, I pray we receive the most high calling a woman can be given in this life as wife & mother with the joy that Jesus died to give us!  This can only happen by trusting in the Holy Spirit for the instruction needed for the mission ahead. In conclusion, let’s embrace God’s love for us so we can then shower our husbands & children with that same love!!!