Something has been on my heart with the “busyness” of women in the church versus enjoying Jesus at home. While many of you are wrapped up in attending church conferences, prayer meetings, retreats, concerts, classes, etc, I wonder if you would be better off staying at home to learn from God directly and make a concerted effort to fellowship with your husband and children more?!

Mentor and Disciple your children. It is seemingly a lost art in the Christian home but not for Jews or Muslims, for they get this right and drill their beliefs deep into the well of their children’s soul. Yet it is without the Messiah. Hence, should not the Redeemed of the Lord be leading with this way of life?!!! And if so, what would that influential life look like with the role of mother? In response to that significant question, I have gathered a few thoughts of my own which I chose to write about in this particular letter.

In order to do this great work, first be taught by the Holy Spirit of God yourself as to then be able to teach your children His commands! Prepare this generation for how to maneuver spiritually throughout the landmines of this world. And train them for the Kingdom so when the New Millenial Reign begins, they will know the ropes! For, this is not our home. We are only deployed here for a time to learn more of our Heavenly Father and lead others to do the same through Christ Jesus, Yahushua. Get in the zone. Time is short. Focus, Parents. The children need for you to show them the Way from here! The lost are dying, the sick are crying out and those captive are waiting for release! Your child(ren) just may be the vessel who brings them their Savior. Impart wisdom and knowledge to them by modeling what is right and how to live for the God Most High. Teach them His Word. Pray for them and with them. Speak promises of His blessings over them by name! Proclaim verses of Scripture for each child, young or old! Anoint them with oil. Show grace and kindness to yourself and them when there’s sin, yet confess those sins and lead by example with repentance. Then, receive Jesus’ forgiveness for all parties. Walk in mercy and the Truth of God’s Word. Serve Him wholeheartedly with joy and thanksgiving so the children would want to emanate you. Be charitable and hospitable with all people and things. Remain humble. And continue to stand firm in the faith during times of trouble.

Your entire life, Mom and Dad, is a sounding board for your sons and daughters. They will hear you best with their eyes. So, be vigilant in the fight against the evil one with your spiritual weapons of warfare explained in 2 Corinthians 10:5, Ephesians 6 and Psalms 18 & 91. Be slow to become angry by letting the Lord quiet you with His love. Remember Whose you are so that you can remind your offspring Whose they are as well! Bring encouragement, affection and praise to the table every day! Cry out to Jesus and let them see the humility it takes to trust your Savior. Likewise, lift His Name on High in the times when you need only to be still and know that He is fighting the battles for you because Christ intercedes for us. Smile and focus your full attention on their faces while they are talking to you. And cuddle with your children… a lot. Let them climb into your lap or lay down to snuggle with you while watching a movie. Leave them notes to tell them how proud you are of them for WHO they are & not just what they have accomplished. Love their fathers well with respect and honor for being the head of your household. Walk slowly and hold their hands out in public. Love and enjoy your days by capturing each moment in your heart like the collection of memories which add up to one huge offering unto God. Sacrifice time, money and energy often. And let go of any distractions which deter you from them being well spent!

In wrapping up , aim to be a good steward, and recognize how communing with Abba and those He gave you in this life is the best use of your days. Walk in integrity. And Cristine, read this over an over again until your very nature reflects every single word from this letter. Reader, if you have read this far, I meant to tell you earlier, this message was addressed to me but I hope it has helped you to see what is most important as well!

If you have yet to read any of my other blogs but are ignited by this one, each and every one of them are jam-packed full of divine insights about how my relationship with the Lord has overflowed into my relationship with myself, my husband and children as well as and others! Our Heavenly Father has shown me so much about the “mommy mission field”! The reason I wrote the Honing Into Home blog is so women would know God better through getting a glimpse into my life. This collection of thoughts magnify how The Author of life has placed us in extremely privileged positions when He made us mothers!  The Giver of all things has graciously bestowed upon us these gifts of children to steward well, love on and make disciples for Him!  How then will you treat His most treasured possessions?

(Cristine’s definition of mother)
Mothering= Intentionally nurturing the hearts of those created beings whom our massive God has put under our care to nourish, train & shepherd by His Spirit. This is a most exceptional stewardship from Him to us mothers in whatever form it shows itself- ie; adoptive, fostering, older women teaching younger ones- in order for us to ultimately show them the Lord’s love. 

Follow the calling God has for you, Mommies. There is no greater responsibility! Yet that is not something to fear! It is a gift to honor, cherish and be grateful for! My prayer today is all the Mothers out there view their roles as a great stewardship in serving the Lord. Our society, unfortunately, can pull us in many directions. But we must stand strong by the power of His Spirit to keep the main thing the main thing. Let us train up our children in the ways of God! Care for them well, nurture them a lot and be the shepherd who leads your flock with wisdom past this world filled with wolves!!! 

Recently, I answered a friend’s email with this reply and thought it was a good thing to post! For all you out there who can relate (wherever it may apply in your life)…”This refining and sanctification process of a mother is not always easy, but God has shown me that He will bring me further faster here with them than a million events/conferences, etc that I could otherwise attend. Real life is here in my home. He is perfecting me to become more and more like His Son Jesus. So, for that I am praising Him- even in the tantrums, “ho-hums” and: “isn’t there more?!!!” days. : )

I am thankful for trials, afflictions, sufferings and troubles in this life. And before you say “That’s crazy. She’s either nuts or lying”– Let me briefly tell you why I am thankful for the sufferings I’ve experienced (which have been many in my 40 years of life). Through my most difficult times, I’ve grown closer to God. It’s in those times when He squeezes out everything in me that is not of Him and humbles me. By His Spirit’s power in me, it’s in those times I’ve been given strength to endure that crushing work He’s doing to make me more like Christ. It’s in those times when He’s shown me His great compassion and amazing mercy and abounding love, so I can then give those things in increasing measure to others as well as myself.

The intimacy I’ve found with The Lord during my darkest times have been one of God’s most beautiful gifts because it’s when I find freedom in realizing I’m held when I can’t hold myself up, I’m given breath when I feel like I can’t breathe & I’ve received grace to move farther in my faith than ever imagined. “Do you like pain?” you may be asking. No, I do not. Do I tantrum when I start feeling it? Yes. I fail & fall. And I do both often! But The Lord won’t let go- literally- He holds me tight through the pain (even when I’m faithless in that moment; trying to run or even attempting to battle with the very One who made me). And then, it happens… I find this sweet spot. It’s a place where peace beyond understanding comes, comfort beyond measure is encountered and rest better then any I’ve ever known is found. I am thankful that because of Jesus, I’ve been able to persevere and grow and mature so that, ultimately, I may serve Him better.  Those seasons will come for you too, and when they do, know the one you hold onto is holding you!!!

One thought… what if all the hidden things that are done for God like praying and working as unto the Lord within your home (although no one else sees or recognizes it now) were one day on display as a museum in Heaven for all to marvel at as they amplify each of our personal relationships with the Lord while here on earth?  The one who knows the very number of hairs on our head is watching.  And the children are too.  You’ve heard the saying: “They may not always hear what we say but they never fail to imitate!” Ponder that gem as you go about your days, Moms.  Your life is a living, walking movie played out in front of those little ones’ whose eyes are watching. That astonishes me with both a holy fear and an excited joy! What about you? Like God has said: “Think on these things.” 

Have Godly conversations with your children while driving in the car or hanging out at the house, Moms! I tell you the Truth, if you are training them up to know the Lord, you’ll probably be surprised to find out about just how much they know when it comes to God and His ways!

So, let me leave you with this enriching thought! Mom’s, let’s not get frazzled today but rather be encouraged! Let us always remember who the Creator of ALL things is to keep our awe of Him! These verses from Jeremiah declare the vast omniscience of God! Jeremiah 31:35 “This is what the Lord says, He who appoints the sun to shine by day, who decrees the moon and stars to shine by night, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar- the Lord Almighty is His Name!”

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Love to you from a girl who received way more than I ever deserved (not because of who I am but rather, in spite of who I am), and only because of the greatest love that ever was found in Jesus Christ; YAHUSHUA ha Mashiach.  

Simple. Sheperd their hearts. When a sheep is sick, the Shepherd anoints its head with oil. When the sheep wander off, eyes to the ground, chowing grass, and led astray by its own appetite, it may find itself precariously perched in a dangerous place or entangled in thorns. The Shepherd goes after it with a staff designed to free them from self-imposed harm. When the sheep is nosing around in a bush known for its toxic berries, the Shepherd may hurl the rod to save it from sudden disaster. But He does so with urgency and care; it’s personal. It’s loving. It’s not reckless.

Discipline is designed to disciple (instructive). Rebuke is intended to repair (restorative). It has been said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” (caring)

We’ve been urged, instructed and implored to train our children the “why” behind the “what”, to look them in the eye and take the low, quiet tone as often as possible. We have been reminded that “rules without relationship lead to rebellion.” So, every correctional conversation points in the direction of building character. We’ll often ask “How does what you did build great character?” Guiding the flock toward these green pastures spurs them on toward what is good for them.

When our children hear us speak in calm, loving voices, they quickly discern that we are in control of our emotions and not reprimanding them in anger. Guiding the flock with this demeanor reinforces that shepherding is safe and for their safety.

In the case above, our youngest daughter needed to identify what specific emotion she was feeling in order to advocate for herself against her offender (aka big sister). Once she could articulate that she’d felt rejected by her older sister, Daddy was able to apply the oil of Scripture on the wound.

“Do you know that even if your sister rejects you that God will never forsake you?”

If the punishment must fit the crime, remember in discipline, the “cleanser must fit the grime.” Use appropriate Scriptures to cleanse their interpersonal wounds and they’ll reach for them the next time they’re wounded.  Sheep need Shepherds for sustenance, for care, for correction, and ultimately, for protection. Let us love and lead our children with that in mind.

Sincerely, from a Father of Four

Character training is a main vein that runs through the thread of our parenting style. In being a Godly mother and father, we understand the value of raising children for the Kingdom who will exemplify Christ to everyone they meet. This is the very reason why we take the time to passionately pour into them. As parents, my husband and I believe God’s divine plan means that we should have the most influence over our children. This is a major undertaking which encompasses teaching, training and mentoring our son and daughters on how to follow the Lord wholeheartedly. 

Our duty is to leave a lofty inheritance of a Heavenly bounty for what the Father calls “our rewards”; aka our offspring.  When we view the children through this spiritual lens, we understand the importance of stewarding these gifts in the form of our children! Then, we can aspire to give Glory where Glory’s due by pouring into these blessings, so that one day we may return God’s children back to Him with Kingdom values, morals, and virtues instilled in them!

For years, lots of us moms had this all wrong! I’d watch kids run their parents. I’d hear them yelling at their siblings or shouting in defiance at their mother. Rather than taking up their God-given authority to discipline the child right then and there, they would only ask their child to stop. Seriously? I am mortified by this because the child just continues on in disobedience until either the parent or child gets tired. (And it is usually the mother who gives in, resulting in the child getting their way.) This is called “reactive parenting”.

Truly, I used to struggle with this myself.  Instead of getting on the front side of the problem, I’d react just like the mother mentioned above. Only I’d yell. In the above example, the child learns “all I have to do is wear her out to get my way”.  On the contrary, like with my personal example, they, unfortunately, learn to behave by fear alone. Neither of these methods is the correct way to”train up a child in the way they should go”, as God directs.

Although the first example of “Spare the rod and spoil the child” is an erroneous parenting method because it relinquishes one’s responsibility to cultivate good character, that doesn’t mean the opposite reaction of yelling is appropriate either. Exacerbating the child is strictly forbidden in Scripture, for “man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires” (see also Eph. 6:4, Col. 3:21). So, what’s the best answer?

Through the Holy Spirit, as well as a variety of wise teachers on the subject, the Lord opened my eyes to a very important fact. When I placed my worth in my child’s opinion of me, I’d respond to them with more of an “approval of man” approach opposed to “this is what God says is best for you” steadfastness.

Ultimately, my job is to help raise arrows who have Godly character and get to know the true nature of the Lord for themselves. In order to fulfill my role as mom and mentor, I must model Jesus myself. This entails living The Word out in my life before them.  When I put the King of Kings and Lord of Lords in His proper place, I look to pleasing Him above my children’s opinions. Fear of man creates a child-centric home but fear of God is the beginning of wisdom which keeps Jesus in His rightful place in our parenting; at the center.

In our home, we nurture the child yet correct the behavior as to help shape their character. One example is that we teach them the reason behind the rules like “When I give you directions, it’s to 1) guide you, 2) protect you and/or 3) prepare you for future obedience”. 

Now they know we’re not just speaking to be heard, rather equipping them to make wise choices. Another tactic is to not just send them to their room for time out but also ask them to pray about what they did and why they did it.  This strategy encourages their hearts to focus on the root cause verse the action itself, preventing behavior modification outcomes alone. Overall, our goal is to groom this next generation to live a life of Love and Truth forevermore at their core and not merely perform well outwardly.

Character training involves intentionality as well as your time, focused energy and plentiful resources! It’s a repetitive process of fostering, shepherding and imparting Biblical Truths until they launch!

Sculpt the souls entrusted to your care by presently investing yourself in your youth! It’s crucial for us to steer those coming up behind us onto the correct course through the tempest waters of the world! Let’s infuse Christ-like qualities into these foundational years of their upbringing by equipping them well! After all the effort, may you see how your “labor was not in vain nor did you bear children for calamity” like Isaiah says. No! On the contrary, watch them sail and soar because of the endowments you’ve sent them off with as they embark on their own with Captain and Commander Himself!

Isaiah 3:10

“Tell the righteous it will be well with them, for they will enjoy the fruit of their deeds.”

I’ll share a useful Kingdom nugget of how sometimes appreciation and joy proceed pruning. Unfortunately, even as a believer, there’s been an overabundance of times where I ran off and did my own thing.  Those faux pas were undeniable because confusion and exhaustion accompanied them. Striving breeds stress. The clues which confirmed I was “running on ahead of the Spirit” instead of “with the Spirit” were the undeniable symptoms of irritability and unrest. On those occasions, when I’d already ran myself ragged, it became evident how I was pushing my personal agenda opposed to yielding to the Father’s purposes for me.  The final result of those blunders usually led to a “crash and burn” outcome. After licking my wounds and accepting the appropriate discipline, I’d be led to prayerfully pause! And it’s always in that place that I’m met with the sweetness of stillness where joy is recovered!  There’s no greater pleasure than when we halt with the hope of returning to the One who is our Shalom in the first place!  More often than not, I believe the sorrow and regret I endure from straying strips me of self-reliance. And in the progression from selfishness to selflessness, the Spirit beckons me back into the arms of Jesus’ welcoming embrace. Whispers of His love accompanied by His pleasant counsel help me make a course correction as if I’d never even veered off the road! This time, though, upon learning my lesson from those recent mistakes, I move forward on the path marked out for me with an increase of wisdom aiding as a guide. Wherefore, I reunite once again with the joy-filled life!

Another key to the Kingdom is to picture each task as a sacrificial offering sent straight up to the Throne Room for the Glory of God! This is worship, and where sincere worship abounds, the “over it” attitude must concede to the overjoyed soul! With all the demands one day may bring, our portion may seem quite cumbersome but when we seek God’s face bidding Him into our daily walk, joy immerses! My children and I have been meditating upon this Scripture verse from Psalm 16:11 lately: “You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy!” Whether washing dishes, folding laundry, wiping counters, cleaning toilets, making beds or preparing meals, doesn’t David’s proclamation promote your passion to joyfully worship in the presence of the Living God?!

An added Kingdom gem is to rememberthat the secret to transitioning from “over it” to “overjoyed” includes a changed mindset from grumbling to gratefulness! We read in Zechariah 4:6 “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit”, so we know not to depend upon our meager strength and ability but rather Christ living through us! Sure, one may reply how between the pulls of wifehood and mommying, there are tons of titles we hold like janitor, maid, cook, taxi, teacher and nanny to name a few. But God’s Word says His yoke is easy and burden light!  How much then are we putting on ourselves compared to what He is really asking of us? Chores will continue, children will get hungry again and the house will always need to be picked up, so why not enjoy the work as a labor of love where you wait and tarry with your Best Friend during your daily grind and draw closer in as you listen for Him throughout your day. If God has blessed you with the honor to even keep a home and serve a family, view the time as a gift of His grace where you get to meditate on His Goodness and thank Him for those things! And sing about His character, knowing full well how He delights in our praises and inhabitants the songs of the saints! In this there is joy!

My objective here is to incite women to meet the Lord in those menial moments moving you from “over it” to “overjoyed”! Once you become sensitive to the truth of how Emmanuel is with us all of the time everywhere, watch how your demeanor changes. Peace, joy, hope and rest abide in the soul of the devoted and faithful child who merely wants to please their Father in what they do.  When we develop the habit of occupying our thoughts with Him, there’s a supernatural contentedness to follow! So, put on the mind of Christ where the complacency over sweeping and dusting diminishes. Verily, even in the midst of the mundane, much joy may manifest!

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with ALL JOY and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

“Twins”… Not even going to lie, when the ultrasound tech uttered that word, I had several complex emotions run throughout me at one time! I’m sure you could just imagine! And as they grew within, the apprehension increased; for I continued to question if I could actually do a decent job of caring for twins while already having a hard enough time holding down the fort with my toddler and tween! Just the thought was extremely overwhelming! (And that is putting it mildly.)

In conclusion, God knows best. And even though I thought I might fail them as a mom, the Lord confirms time and time again that He purposely sent these precious two my way. Praise be to God that His ways are above our ways and thoughts above our thoughts! The crazy cool bonus is how Father named these two beforehand!  For, one day, long after they were born, He showed me Psalm 126! My son’s name means “to sow” and my daughter’s name means “joy”! “Those who SOW in tears will reap with songs of JOY. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to SOW, will return with songs of JOY!”. 

Okay, so one may ask “But where do I begin with discipleship?”  1 John says the Holy Spirit will teach you all things, therefore trust God’s Word by reading about your Heavenly Father with the sole intention for your soul to know Him more.  Then, you will understand about His love, grace and mercy where you want to actually obey His Word because you know the Author better, hence putting His lessons into practice. He’ll help you will find such friendly fellowship as He assists you in life like a good Teacher would in any classroom. Upon requesting from the Lord that He realign your will with His you’ll have to give up what you think is right for what is Truth. Correction as well as direction will proceed, but the results are astounding!

So much is out of order in our world. And there are many reasons for that but today I come you, Woman of 2017, passionately expressing how my heart has found joy so that you may too. “Yours truly” had (still has) a rebellious, angry, carnal nature which needs to be brought to the Cross and nailed there daily. Miraculously, by His power, this 40-year-old Sister of yours now has a desire to be my husband’s helpmate, zest for raising my children and fervor to homeschool them to boot! Unswervingly, I press into God’s mission for me here because He is my Faithful Mentor, Trustworthy Guide, Nurturing Shepherd and Omniscient Teacher.  

Are you Jesus’ disciple? Well, test yourself to make sure you’re in the faith, as John recommends.  Because disciples put their faith into action moving from a hearer to a “doer of the Word” like James says. If you are not sure you’re yet a disciple, be reassured that the Counselor and Comforter Himself is willing to meet you where you’re at with an eager embrace!  Open your heart by faith and mutually apply what He’s given you. Once the transition to true follower occurs, you’re used to advance and expand the Kingdom of God on earth with a love that drives you to disciple others such as your children. Then your family can disciple your neighbors. And the neighbors may disciple their friends and so on, spreading the surge of the Spirit! 

(Side note for women with unevenly yoked partners: Pray for your husband to follow the Lord wholeheartedly so both of you may learn of the Lord together. Only then will the two of you be able to disciple/teach your children God’s ways in one accord. While I know there is no perfect situation in marriage, the Word is clear on how the prayers of the righteous are heard.  For this very reason, wives, if you are the more spiritually mature one in your marriage, it is imperative that you approach the Throne on our husband’s behalf requesting that they’d rise up as the spiritual leaders of your homes. This is called interceding for them. And please remember how that in the waiting stage, before they begin to show evidence that the transformative power of Christ is changing them, live out 1 Peter which says our behavior toward them can win them over without words. This is opposite of the nagging wife who tries to get them to move by force, of course! Until hubby is there, you be the one to gladly and graciously teach your children what you’ve been taught. But do this without holding it over your husband. Openly I admit, even though my spouse is the more mature one spiritually speaking, there have been many times where I’ve worked in my own strength in attempt to make him see something Scripturally my way, and it usually NEVER goes well. Prayers are the answer every time.) 

Ladies, assess your hearts so Sisters around the world may agreeably and amply be aroused towards their determined destinies as disciples! There’s an entire generation who need us out there! The picture of why we are here is bigger than you can imagine but the photo below is a clue. Hugs, Cristine 

As a stay at home mom, that sentence is hard to swallow because I don’t always live the exemplary life out in front of them.  One recent example I could give is how we tried to start a new curriculum with my seven-year-old twins this year but my poor attitude effected the entire household.  In the midst of our old computers not functioning as they should mixed with some of the online program’s quirks, those two weeks were frantic, rigid, maniacal ones leaving me an emotional mess.  You see, my expectations were not being met, so I was having one big tantrum!

My plan began with good intentions but they were inevitably not God’s. Initially, my hope was to acquaint the twins with independent learning so that I could spend more time with my rising 4th grader.  In my opinion, introducing new concepts to her would mean she’d require extra time, so using a computer resource for the the twins to be taught interactively would be a win/win right?  Not so much.  Between trying to navigate each lesson plan, calling the company with my multiple questions, updating our own operating systems, explaining how it all worked to the twins’, answering their various questions and trying to remember that my other child was waiting on me too, I may’ve briefly lost my mind!  Not to mention how the several stimulating sights and sounds generated from this exhilarating teaching tool sent my auditory processing, sensory issues into a tizzy!  Basically, I had a mini breakdown.  I cried, I yelled, I prayed and I cried some more.  At one point, I vaguely recall feeling like the fear could turn into a panic attack because I kept saying “How am I going to do this?  I don’t think I can do this!”  Eventually, I went outside to breathe, sit in the sun, cry and pray.

Finally, after a couple of weeks of trying to run this educational marathon, we had a “Come to Jesus Meeting”.  I asked the children what option they would prefer: last year’s way of schooling with handwriting and bookwork or continuing on with the computer program?   Each twin gave their pros and cons but ultimately it boiled down to their desire for a serene setting where Mommy is chill.

If you have been reading my blogs for a while, you know that I am all about confession so I confessed how my actions were wrong.  With the change of direction and fresh perspective, my new aspiration was to turn this whole saga into a good thing by having them a) see true repentance in me b) discover how Mommy may actually be better for them than an automated teacher and c) reaffirm how their mother does not have it altogether and needs Jesus ever-so desperately.

Today as I write this blog we are on week two of our old method of schooling where we all gather around the table and work together.  Go figure, I assumed that this style would be too difficult this year with their current level of education but we actually found the opposite to be true!  We reestablished a quieter, slower, calmer atmosphere like how it used to be when I chose to relinquish my will God’s.  Accordingly, peace, rest and joy returned.  My regrets about my behavior at the beginning of our school year fade in the forgiveness found.  My heart cherishes the grace granted me to try again.  Undeniably, the Holy Spirit turned it around the moment I relented my plan for God’s best.  Obviously, the whole escapade could have been avoided if I chose to let go of the illusion of control in the first place.  But the blessing is that the roots underneath the surface of my frenetic conduct boiled down to both fear and pride together; as they are different sides of the same coin really.  And you know what?  Once those sins were uncovered and I admitted them, something powerful happened!

Today my eight-year-old said something remarkable.  Out of the blue, she tells me how I am a good mother.   The words which proceeded to come forth from her mouth next pierced my heart to the core.  She said “When you say sorry, Mommy, you really mean it.”  Wow!  Right there I was convinced of my statement earlier: “the children are watching more of what we do than what we say.”